Prologue

      Susan Pollack led a full rich life, she had friends from coast to coast, gave of herself to charities, cared for stray dogs, and had a lovely family. But there was something going on inside her mind that led her to live a life deeply depressed.  The series of events leading up to her adulthood and beyond caused a rift in her inner being, one that she could not control or imagine how it affected her.  I think her story is important because many people may know someone who looks to be the perfect housewife, mother, friend, spouse or child, but too many suicides are committed each year, and those who leave us are misunderstood. 

      I have been told by some people around me that suicide is a selfish deed.  I think that Susan’s story will show that this belief is far from the truth.  Someone struggling with a decision about suicide is not at all thinking of themselves, but of the deep pain they feel and how they believe they are ruining the lives of those around them. 

      I believe that doctors today find it easy to administer medications for depression, bi-polar disorder, and schizophrenia, rather than treat the cause or help a patient resolve the internal conflicts they have.  Psychotherapy is almost a thing of the past.  Medication may help control the feelings of depression, or the symptoms of a bi-polar disorder, but without therapy a person cannot learn to cope with their disorder. After four years of recounting in my mind our thirty six years together and her stories of her childhood, I have concluded that Susan suffered from dissociative identity disorder, DID, once referred to as multiple personality disorder.

      So by telling Susan’s plight, I hope someone reading this can understand what a person goes through that ultimately brings them to that final desperate act.